Rugby Songs
These songs may be offensive, so if you are easily offended or under 18, leave now.
7 Days of the Week:
Ohhh,
Leader: Monday is a working day…
Ruggers: Repeat- Monday is a working day…
Chorus
L: Is Everybody HAPPY ?
R: You bet your ass we are…
(Everyone places a finger on someone’s head and they must spin around in a circle
singing do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do-do-do like arabic tune)
Ohh,
L: Tuesday is a practice day…
R: Tuesday is a practice day…
L: Monday is a working day…
R: Monday is a working day…
Chorus
L: Is Everybody HAPPY?
R: You bet your ass we are…
Ohh,
L: Wednesday is a smoking day…
R: Wednesday is a smoking day…
Repeat rest of the days of the week
Chorus
Ohh,
L: Thursday is a drinking day…
R: Thursday is a drinking day…
Repeat rest of the days of the week
Chorus
Ohh,
L: Friday is a fucking day…
R: Friday is a fucking day…
Repeat rest of the days of the week
Chorus
Ohh, (YELL at the top of your lungs)
L: SATURDAY IS GAME DAY!!
R: SATURDAY IS GAME DAY!!
Repeat rest of the days of the week
Chorus
Ohh, (Whisper quietly and take a knee)
L: Sunday is the Lord’s day…
R: Sunday is the Lord’s day…
Repeat rest of the days of the week
Chorus
SOCIAL: Round the head, who said head? I’ll take some of that SHIT! With rhythm, feeling and personality!!
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Chicago:
(Everyone sings words in capital letters. Tune is similar to "For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow"; the underlined word are the words that change from verse to verse.)
I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO AT AN OLD DEPARTMENT STORE,
I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO I DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE
A young man came in for some paper
SOME PAPER FROM THE STORE?
Paper he wanted, a ream he got
I DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE!
I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO AT AN OLD DEPARTMENT STORE,
I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO I DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE
A young man came in for some jewelry
SOME JEWELRY FROM THE STORE?
Jewelry he wanted, a pearl necklace he got
I DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE!
And similarly:
Carpet she wanted, shag she got
Nail she wanted, screw she got
Fishing rod she wanted, my pole she got
Meat she wanted, sausage she got
Beef she wanted, pork she got
Helicopter she wanted, my chopper she got
Translator she wanted, cunning linguist she got
KitKat she wanted, four fingers she got
Meat she wanted, sausage she got
Camel she wanted, hump she got
Glazed doughnut she wanted. cream filled she got
Power drill she wanted, drilled she got
Black & Decker drill she wanted, decked she got
Drape she wanted, rape
Screwdriver she wanted, screwed she got
Hammer she wanted, nailed she got
Gun she wanted, banged she got
Nylons she wanted, hosed she got
Metaphysical conversation she wanted, fucked she got
Bolts she wanted, my nuts she got
Sailors she wanted, semen she got
Ham she wanted, porked she got
Plastic she wanted, rubbers she got
Pipe she wanted, hosed she got
Stockings she wanted, hosing she got
Liquid Plumber she wanted, pipes cleaned she got
Butter she wanted, spread she got
Seafood she wanted, crabs she got
Beer she wanted, 6-pack she got
Fabric she wanted, felt she got
Ruler she wanted, my 12 she got
Stamps she wanted, licked she got
Fucked he wanted, fucked he got
etc.
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Dough--A Thing I Buy Beer With:
(To the tune of "Doe a deer" from The Sound of Music Music.)
Dough a Thing I Buy Beer With
Ray a guy who buys me beer
Me, a guy I buy beer for
Fa, a long way to the bar
So, I think I'll have a beer
La, la la la la la la
Tea, no thanks I'll have a beer
that brings us back to dough oh oh oh ....
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Follow The Band:
My Lover's a super model, a super model,, super model,
a very fine super model, is he/she.
All day he/she eats nothing, he/she eats nothing, he/she eats nothing
and when he/she comes home he/she eats me.
Chorus:
Oh, you've got to drink a little bit, fuck a little bit,
Follow the band. (TOOT TOOT)
Follow the band with your beer/tits in your hands.
Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit,
follow the band.
Follow the band all the way.
Carpenter… bangs nails… bangs me
Lumberjack … splits logs … splits me
Lawyer … fucks you … fucks me
Frat boy … does nothing … does nothing
Physicist … splits atoms … splits me
Jockey … rides horses … rides me
Rugby player … rucks rucks … fucks me
Diver … goes down … goes down on me
Mounted policeman … rides horses … rides me
Baker … fills tarts … fills me; creams cakes … creams me;
kneads dough … kneads me
Taxidermist … stuffs animals … stuffs me
Doctor … fucks nurses … fucks me
Skier … jumps humps … humps me
Swimmer … swims laps … laps me
Plumber … sucks pipes … sucks me
Pianist … fingers keys … fingers me
Joiner … screws wood … screws me
Postman … licks stamps … licks me
Farmer … forks straw … forks me
Iron worker … pokes fires … pokes me
Butcher … porks sausages … porks me
Lecturer … dictates … dicks me
Secretary … facsimilies … fax me
Dentist … fills teeth … fills me
Astronaut … probes space … probes me
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Jesus Can't Play Rugby:
(sung to the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" a.k.a. "Glory, Glory Hallelujah")
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause his dad'll fix the game,
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause his dad'll fix the game,
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause his dad'll fix the game
Jesus saves Jesus saves Jesus sa-ves.
Free Beer for all the ruggers,
Free Beer for all the ruggers,
Free Beer for all the ruggers,
Jesus saves Jesus saves Jesus sa-ves.
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause he's got illegal head gear,
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause he's got illegal head gear,
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause he's got illegal head gear,
Jesus saves Jesus saves Jesus sa-ves.
Free Beer for all the ruggers,
Free Beer for all the ruggers,
Free Beer for all the ruggers,
Jesus saves Jesus saves Jesus sa-ves.
Other verses:
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause he's only got twelve men
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause he can't support a hooker
Jesus can't play touch judge 'cause his arms point both ways
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause he's nailed to the cross
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause he's got holes in his feet
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause he's got some open wounds
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause he's got illegal toe cleats
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause the ball goes through his hands
Last verse:
Jesus we're only kidding,
Jesus we're only kidding,
Jesus we're only kidding,
Jesus saves Jesus saves Jesus sa-ves.
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Rugby Men:
(Sung to the tune of "This Old Man")
Rugby man, He plays one,
He likes it right up the bum.
With a nick nack paddy wack
Give the ball a way
Women's rugby's what we play
He plays two, He can't get it up to screw.
He plays three, He’s not big enough for me.
He plays four, He may try but he can’t score.
He plays five, He likes to muff dive.
He plays six, Little man with a little dick.
He plays seven, Masturbation is his Heaven.
He plays eight, He always cums to fucking late.
He plays nine, He thinks his orgasms mine.
He plays ten, Little boys who think they're men.
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See That Rugger In:
See that rugger in blue
Crowd: see that rugger in blue
I hear she really likes to screw
Crowd: I hear she really likes to screw
LOUDER:
See that rugger in blue
Crowd: see that rugger in blue
I hear she really likes to screw
Crowd: I hear she really likes to screw
Sha-na-na-na-na (Na-na-na-na-na)
Sha-na-na-na-na (Na-na-na-na-na)
Sha-na-na-na-na (Na-na-na-na-na)
Sha-na-na-na-na (Na-na-na-na-na)
Make up more to suit the players in the room (colors of shirts, items, etc)
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Shoot The Boot:
This happens if you're a soloist on a verse and you mess up the lines of the song.
When you "shoot the boot,":
Why were you born so beautiful
Why were you born at all
You're no fucking use to anyone
You're no fucking use at all
You should be publicly pissed on,
You should be publicly shot (bang, bang),
You should be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot.
So, DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, DRINK… (chant lasts until he finishes)
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The Marrying Kind:
CHORUS:
If I were the marrying kind,
I thank the Lord I'm not, sir!
The kind of rugger I would be
Would be a rugby what sir…
SINGER:
Prop, sir!
ALL:
Why's that, sir?
SINGER:
Because I support hookers
ALL:
And you'd support hookesr,
We'd all support hookers, together!
We'd be allright in the middle of the night
If we all support hookers together!
MORE VERSES:
2nd row sir, sniff butt
2nd row sir, split cheeks
2nd row sir, grab crotch
2nd row sir, smell fish
8 man sir, hold till you come
8 man sir, split cheeks
8 man sir, sniff ass
center sir, find the hole
center sir, hit it hard
flanker sir, get off first
flyhalf sir, get creamed
fullback sir, get fucked
scrum half sir, put it in
scrumhalf sir, go both ways
wing sir, never get it
ball sir, get pumped
ball sir, be bound in leather
2 boots tied together sir, be trippin
boots sir, come in a boxes
boot sir, get screwed
goal post sir, get split
scrumcap sir, be on a pussy
halftime orange sir, get sucked
grounds keeper #1 sir, trim bush
grounds keeper #2 sir, do lines
grounds keeper #3 sir, fill holes
pitch sir, grow weed
rule book sir, get violated
spectator sir, get to watch
spectator on a rainy day sir, I'd get wet
spectator on a sunny day #1 sir, come again
spectator on a sunny day #2 sir, get baked
team from far away sir, come for hours
water bottle sir, get squeezed
whistle sir, get blown
DRUNK TEAM SIR, GET FUCKED UP
SOCIAL: "Round the head. Who said head? I'll take some of that shit!!! With rhythm, feeling and personality!
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Ya Ho:
Sung to the tune When Jonny Comes Marching Home.
(This is a rugby variation of a popular song about a "young man".)
I met a whore in the park one day
ya ho, ya ho
I met a whore in the park one day
ya ho, ya ho
I met a whore in the park one day
She said hey rugger, you wanna lay
Refrain:
Get in, Get out, quit fuckin' about
ya ho, ya ho, ya ho.
I put my hand upon her toe
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her toe
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her toe,
she said hey rugger you're way to low.
Refrain
I put my hand upon her knee
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her knee
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her knee,
she said hey rugger you're kiddin' me
Refrain
I put my hand upon her thigh
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her thigh
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her thigh,
she said hey rugger you're way to shy
Refrain
I put my hand upon her tit
ya ho ya
I put my hand upon her tit
ya ho ya
I put my hand upon her tit
she said, "hey rugger, you're getting it"
Refrain
I put my hand upon her twat
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her twat
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her twat,
she said hey rugger you hit the spot
Refrain
I put my dick into her mouth
yo ho, yo ho,
I put my dick into her mouth
yo ho, yo ho,
I put my dick into her mouth,
She said mmm, mhmh, mhmhm...
Refrain
And then he came into my mouth
yo ho, yo ho
And then he came into my mouth
yo ho, yo ho
And then he came into my mouth,
And I said (take a drink and spray beer on person who sang previous verse)
Refrain
I put her in a wooden box
ya ho, ya ho
I put her in a wooden box
ya ho, ya ho
I put her in a wooden box,
from havin' too many rugger's cocks
Refrain
I dig her up every now and then
ya ho, ya ho
I dig her up every now and then
ya ho, ya ho
I dig her up every now and then,
she did me before she'll do me again
Refrain
Now these few ruggers they went to hell
ya ho, ya ho
Now these few ruggers they went to hell
ya ho, ya ho
Now these few ruggers they went to hell,
the fucked the devil his wives as well
ya ho, ya ho, ya ho.
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Yogi:
(Sung to the tune of "Camptown Races")
I know a bear that you all know,
Yogi, YOGI,
I know a bear that you all know,
Yogi, Yogi Bear.
YOGI, YOGI BEAR,
YOGI, YOGI BEAR,
I KNOW A BEAR THAT YOU ALL KNOW,
YOGI, YOGI BEAR.
Yogi's got a little "friend,"
Booboo, BOOBOO,
Yogi's got a little "friend,"
Booboo, Booboo Bear
BOOBOO, BOOBOO BEAR,
BOOBOO, BOOBOO BEAR,
YOGI'S GOT A LITTLE "FRIEND,"
BOOBOO, BOOBOO BEAR.
And similarly:
Yogi's got a "girlfriend,"
Suzi, SUZI
Suzi, Suzi Bear.
Yogi's got a cheesy knob, Camembert.
Booboo likes it on the fridge, polar bear.
Yogi hates it up the ass, Something he can't bear.
Yogi's dick is long and green, cucumber.
Yogi likes to shave his pubes, grizzly bare.
Booboo’s boyfriend has no teeth, gummy bear
Yogi likes it in the snow, Polar Bear
Yogi likes it up side down, Koala Bear
Yogi likes it in a car, Panda Bear
Yogi's got a girlfriend, Suzy Bear
Suzy likes it ‘gainst the fridge, Polar Bear
Booboo likes it up the ass, Brown Bear
Yogi has a 10" cock, Black Bear
Yogi likes it with a chew, Kodak, Bear
Suzy wears crotchless panties, Teddy Bear
Suzy’s snatch it smells like cheese, Camembert
Suzy she has great big tits, More than I can bear
Suzy likes to threesome, Lucky Bear
Booboo likes it in a tree, Koala Bear
Yogi likes lingerie, Teddy bear
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